Cling to the tiny little life rafts in the dark night of your soul-that emotional support person, that familiar, funny, soothing TV show, that comforting meal, that morning ritual. ![]() Because when you take things moment by moment, second by second, that hot heat of anxiety and that vacuum of depression feels a tiny bit more manageable.It’s that time plus processing plus reparative experiences plus perspective plus metabolized emotions that makes things feel less acute. Because nothing lasts forever – including your devastation, grief, fear, and shame.Because life still holds good and wonderful things like a perfect cello Baroque piece, the thrill of a passport stamp, and the satisfaction of a long, lazy, delicious meal with a good friend who you haven’t seen in a while and who makes you feel more like yourself.Isn’t that amazing to imagine? If you just keep going beautiful, wonderful relationships will still have a chance of showing up in your life. Because there are people who you haven’t even met yet who will love you fiercely and show you intense loyalty.The fear you feel about what others will think of you, your mistakes, your situation, it is legitimate but also people will not care as much as you do about what’s going on for you as time passes. Because time moves on and so does other peoples’ attention.You feel like you won’t survive but the facts say you will. The despair you feel about being publicly shamed is a primal response-our ancestors needed the group to survive-that response is still well and alive in you despite the fact that your survival may not hinge on the group. Because even though it feels like the shame will destroy you right now, many people have lived through shame and scorn and survived.No matter what you did and what you think about yourself right now. Because you are a good person, worth taking good care of.Trauma therapy, a psychiatrist who works hard to find the right combination for your chemistry, it can make all the difference. ![]() Because there may still be a particular kind of therapy or a better combination of medications that can support you and bring you relief.And you’ll never know this precious being if you do something to harm yourself now. Because someday there might be a child or fur baby or mentee or loved one in your life who brings meaning and fulfillment to your days.From inside this place, you don’t have perspective and you must grasp that fact and what it means about bad decision-making right now. It feels this way now because your prefrontal cortex is hijacked, your brain chemistry is imbalanced, and you are in flight and fight mode. Because the utter hell of your anxiety and the crush of your depression isn’t permanent.Right now, in this one singular moment, you’re okay. Because there is still safety and support in this moment, even if you can’t see it now.Like hot baths and weighted cozy blankets. Because there are, even in the worst of times, still good things you can enjoy in life.You may never ever know just how much you mean to someone, including people you’ve never met who simply know of you and take heart and hope from you. Because you harming yourself might break someone’s heart.Because someday you will be able to look back at this hellish time and it won’t feel so hellish (even though that feels impossible to believe now).The peace that can come in an afternoon sliver, the kind that reminds you things are ok. ![]() Because you deserve to feel afternoon sunshine streaming through green leaves on your face again.You’re not inside their hearts and minds. You may not know this and you may have stories you believe about how others would be better off without you but you don’t know that. Because you mean too much to someone else to hurt yourself.Few problems are permanent - nor are the emotions that go with problems that are permanent. It’s literally the most permanent, irreversible thing you can do. Because suicide is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem.
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